RALPH Speaks

Curse You Westminster!

Once again, I have to report I did not take best in show at the Westminster Kennel Club show.

Honors went to Banana Joe.

Now I have nothing against Banana Joe.

I even like Bananas.

But I’m not a pure-bred so I can’t compete.

I’m just a dog dog, mixed-breed, mutt.

And there’s no category for us.

Just: Best Dog Not Allowed To Compete Award.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE watching the show.

But I’d love it even more if I could play.

I’d promise not to pee in Madison Square Garden.

Well at least not in public.

Well at least not if I didn’t have to.

Thinking of it, I have to go right now.


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