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Hey everyone, it’s Ralph and I’m getting ready for New Years.
Happy 14,098 (that’s 2014 in Dog Years).
1. I resolve to resist the temptation to stop snacking. I know there is a lot of evidence that dogs are overweight. But let’s face it. Yours truly is not interested in getting into a bikini any time soon.
2. Exercise is over rated. Sleep is in. I’m calling on all of you to restore nap time to its rightful place. Just think how much better the world would be if everyone took a nap (or more than one during the day!)
3. Relax. You humans take everything so seriously. Do you see me worrying about taxes or about a fiscal cliff? No! The only thing I care about is someone to fill my dog bowl with yummy food and belly rubs. Did you ever think that if we took the heads of Congress, lay them on their backs and gave them belly rubs, the world would be a better place. Seriously, name one issue that can’t be solved with a belly rub.
4. Train my dog parent better. So far, he does a passable job. He buys me healthy nourishing food. He never feeds me anything made in China. But I’m like the only one in the family without his own iPod or iPad. How do I tell him I do a better job of sharing than his kids do? When I get a tennis ball, do I keep it for myself? No. I share it and actually play with others. To this day, not one member of his family has offered me their iPad so I can watch Animal Planet or dog videos on YouTube. I guess life is just not fair.
5. Give more love. We live in a love deprived world. People do stupid things. Children kill children. Adults kill adults. Adults kill children. And we dogs just look at humans and shake our heads. How did you people get so messed up? I think if we dogs did a better job giving hugs, kisses, and licks, the world would be a better place.
Now that’s my list.
Do you think I’m missing anything? If you do, add it in a comment below. Otherwise, just click the LIKE button so my brilliant words can heal humanity.
Now someone give me a snack, okay?