It happens every time I settle down for a nap.
Comfortable quiet spot – check.
Favorite soft toy nearby – check.
Kinda full stomach – check.
And that’s when it all happens.
All of a sudden people running around in all directions holding their noses.
They point at me and sometimes they yell.
All I hear is “Ralph just farted.”
And they carry on like this even after the room is cleared.
Let me ask you a question, “Do I bolt from the room every time you fart?”
Do I call all of my friends on my D-Phone and tell them, “Oh, my owner just had chili and he’s floating above the couch.”
No, I don’t.
Look, you’re the one who feeds me.
And sometimes, the food you give me makes me fart.
And you’re hurting my feelings every time the exodus takes place when I fart.
I’m just getting comfortable.
And I’ll bet you on any day you fart more than I do.
Besides, we just learn to live with it. And I love you even when you fart.
My all time favorite food for farting is egg salad.
I don’t know why or how it does it but feed me egg salad and I could generate enough gas to overcome the Iran embargo.
By the way, I’d like to keep all my body parts. Check out this story next.